Carefree Black Girl
In March 2015, I had a conversation with someone I considered my friend at the time about race. Now, I am no stranger to these conversations, and no stranger to the hurt and damage they can inflict on a friendship and psyche. This conversation in particular sparked a response of paragraphs and paragraphs of questions and answers. The person with whom I had this conversation said invalidating things, mostly, and tried hard to silence my points under his ‘correct view’. This was my response to that conversation.
The Case of the Carefree Black Girl (written March 2015)
Why has conversation now become become so difficult? Why is it that the narrative of the White Man is suddenly the most important? Well obviously, it’s always been that way. But isn’t it; in our brand spankin’ new Post-Racial Society™, with a certified Black President and everything, that everyone’e narrative is important? Aren’t we all equal? Wait, we aren’t? But I thought Racism™ was over?! Martin Luther King Jr marched and died (in a totally freak shooting that was totally not planned and orchestrated by the system that wanted to be rid of him), we (they, the government, white supremacy) took care of Malcolm and Fred Hampton and all those troublemakers ,and Barack Obama became president. And that was it, racism is over. Wait, really? It’s still not over? The system has just changed the wording? The 13th Amendment may have abolished slavery but if you’re a criminal you’re no longer free? Just because some of the people have moved forward, the system remains.
Of course, of course. But I’m just an Angry Black Girl™ though, right? I’m bitter. I’m dramatic. I’m making something out of nothing. As if I’m not allowed emotion. As if my passion can be reduced to something easy to brush off, to call “stupid”. It would be up to you, as a white man, to ‘relieve’ me of my humanity. Because normal people aren’t so irrationally angry like me.
Just to clarify, racism isn’t over. So, so far from over, actually. The concept of “Post-Racial” is fictional. My only hope is to have the same spaces, where I can feel safe, that a white woman has. Spaces of beauty, and love, and light. Where I’m not confined to the places given to me; mostly sexualized, and competitive. But, if a space only has black women and girls (just like some white women and girls have their own spaces of just them) then I (we) aren’t being inclusive. When a white girl is left out then there’s a problem, right? But did you forget that black girls have been left out since the beginning? That even though black women are the most educated in the US, we are still constantly questioned on our credentials. As if what we say isn’t valid. But racism is only real in the “Post-Racial’ propaganda when a white person feels like its happening to them. But I can never have a space of just black girls sharing experiences and hardships because “White girls and black girl have the same experiences simply because they are girls”. Ah, how the ‘post-racial’ mentality has tainted the mind. Yes, women have a universal experience, But the details, and some more specific experiences are unique to just black women and just white women. But if we truly are ‘post-racial’ shouldn’t each experience be validated in its own space. It shouldn’t be ‘reverse racism’ if black girls want a space where we can feel validated. Are there not things about the black girl’s experience that can only be truly understood and validated by black girls?
If we are so ‘post-racial’ why is it a problem when white people aren’t included in ‘black space’? It isn’t even a ‘black space’, by the way. The space doesn’t have to be labeled ‘black’ or ‘white’ to achieve their intended purposes. They have the intended purposes that need to be catered to, but in no way are they non-inclusive.
Does my “Black Woman” space offend you? Is that where the problem lies? Does it reside in the need to be included, always? Why must you feel included, always? Have you gotten so blind to your dominance in every other space, that your fragile ego screams unfairness at the idea of something not meant for you? Is it racist to you now, white person, for me to love my blackness and want a space for myself? To be pro-black and that’s all? Point, blank, period? Or, does that mean that I am anti-white (which doesn’t really make sense from an English major’s standpoint and from my mixed heritage standpoint). To be clear, I’m not anti-white. I love my blackness, my mixedness, my Afro-Latina-ness. And all of what those things include. I do, though, want to feel safe in spaces meant for me. Spaces that are accepting of me. I’ll call it what I wish, right? If I create it, let it be called a group of Carefree Black Girls
