lightning bug (poem)

before now,

I'd never seen a lightning bug. 

I'd never see things marked with "just because I love you"

things were never 

"just because"

because I miss you

because I wanna talk to you

because I wanna know if you're okay

    did you eat?

    are you hungry?

    how have you been sleeping?

because I care

lightning bugs were just as cool and beautiful as I thought they'd be

    you laughed when I called them fireflies

    told me I was perfect and silly and sweet for my accent and my faraway home eyes

    asked to visit my world sometime

I was always so certain of everything

even my mistakes

I let my back arch against the unfriendly surfaces created by those who wanted me to hold them together but watch myself fall apart

    the just because held its own

    beasoned my structure into marshmallow walls 

because I want to let you rest against a surface you could trust for onc, is what you said

to finally let something hold up when dropped 

to be held together as well as hold

lightning bugs were just as cool and beautiful as I thought they'd be,

these surfaces have never been this welcoming before