scars (poem)

most of my scars are no bigger than a pen tip

not the tip where the ink comes out

but the tip where the tip comes out

in my dreams

i use markers and circle them

each hairline crack

in my tectonic plate life

each cyclical constellation on my skin

mapped to be read

interpreted incorrectly

I have only wanted to be a known language
a learned one,
instead of lost
instead of ancient and so far removed from understanding 
it is only guesswork here

the swordsman’s wayward blade works the same as that glitching megaphone
accidental targets
accidental discharges
accidental

accidental 

sólo quiero sentirme seguro en los brazos de un hombre

una persona
quiero que los brazos en los que confío san tuyos

sólo quiero poder hablar contigo

pero siente que no hay más tu
siente que no hay más nos

in my dreams 

I remember how loud I screamed without anyone hearing me

without anyone noticing

in my dreams I remember

they think you’re lying

I wake up and he thinks I’m lying 

will sleeping help this time?
will I wake up safe and remember

la confianza es mi mayor obstáculo