pupil side down (poem)

I wish your eyes weren’t glued to the back of your head

pupil side down

pupil side blocked by skin and lashes and those thick thick fears

you’re watching where you’re going but can you see?

you’ve fed me nothing but my own bones

waiting for marrow poisoning

waiting for muscle rationing down to atrophy

I cannot move and you like me best that way

you can see me here, that’s currency

that’s worth something, pay off your debts with my blood

my pussy juice

my tears

sweat into my mouth, again

grind sticky into my teeth

make the promise to love me better

safer

cleaner than you have in the past

you can’t look me in the eyes while you say it

irises only to the neck

corneas down